


Should I Stand up on Fear (and Tell You How I Feel)

by Lulatic



Series: Fears and Insecurities [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Bathophobia, Drowning, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Surfer!Lance, and they flirt, bathophobic!keith, bsically keith fears deep water, fear of water, lance doesn't realize that, slight angst but not really, the others are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7958257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulatic/pseuds/Lulatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, it’s really a good thing that Lance got distracted before he dragged you out there with him,” Hunk chuckled. “I guess flirting became more important than your guys’ rivalry.’</p><p>    Keith blushed again, looking away with a huff. “Yeah, whatever. He’ll probably be distracted long enough that I can go back to the Castle before he decides I need some surfing lessons.” </p><p>    Pidge laughed, that kind of cheeky giggle that made Keith and Hunk look over at them with wide eyes. Pidge raised a single eyebrow at Keith, grinning mischievously. “Oh, but you won’t be going back to the Castle any time soon, now will you? Not when Lance is out there, soaking wet, wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks.”</p><p> </p><p>Or, Keith's fear of water and Lance being good at something besides running his mouth leads to a panic attack, pining, and bonding as the sun set.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should I Stand up on Fear (and Tell You How I Feel)

**Author's Note:**

> FIrst time posting on ao3 or even just writing about these dorks in general, so I'm sorry if it's OOC at all. 
> 
> The title was taken from the song [The Way You Want Me.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrgose0ozYE)
> 
> Also, no one actually drowns in this, but it does talk about sufocationg or drowning. Read at your own risk. (It isn't too detailed, but it's still a thing)

The planet was like earth, but not really.

It was a planet made up of islands entirely, dotting the vast water like the backs of turtles. There were small, lush forests of trees that twisted and turned weird ways and seemed to shimmer on some of the larger islands.

The species living there, known as 'Celrics', lived in scattered villages of huts and shacks, made of branches and leaves molded together with clay. They were kind of strange looking, humanoid but with fins protruding out of the backs and their forearms. They’re skin was mixes of grey-blue, peach, and some were even pale purple.

They spoke in chopped, clicking tones, but were kind and peaceful. As soon as the Castle had touched down on a sandy blue beach, there had been a small welcoming committee, the leader of the nearest tribe offering gifts and fruit that looked far from edible.

The aliens there were welcoming, and the entire planet may have been a lot like the beaches on earth. To the Paladins, it was a nice break, a little getaway from all the hectic fighting and uncertainty that came with fighting the Galra. Everyone, even Allura and Shiro, were finally able to laze around and enjoy the sparkling water, bask in the sun until they fried.

Everyone may have been enjoying it, but Lance seemed to be for different reasons, Keith noticed.

“Okay, okay, wait a tick,” Lance said, loudly enough that Keith could hear him from where he was sitting a safe and comfortable distance away from the water. Looking over at him, Lance was just wearing a pair of blue swim trunks and some sunglasses that no one knew how he found. “You’re telling me that you make these surfboards,” he scoffed while holding up the biggest wooden board that the aliens could find. “But you don’t _surf_? Like, at _all_?”

“Uh-uh,” The small alien sputtered, their yellow eyes downcast as they twiddled their webbed fingers. “It is called the paddle wood, not the-- the sur-surf--”

“ _Hey_ , Lance!” Pidge suddenly yelled out, startling the younger locals around them who were busy burying them in sand with Hunk’s help. Only Pidge’s head was above sand at that point, the sand shifting around them as they tried to crane their neck to scowl at Lance. “Leave them alone! Allura made it very clear that the Celric people don’t like confrontation, so shut it.”

“Thanks for your input, Pidge,” Lance called back, rolling his eyes. He stuck out his tongue at Pidge, who didn’t even notice, before turning back to the smaller alien when they tugged at his shorts to get his attention. “Uh, pardon, but, what is this. . . S-surf?”

Lance deadpanned for a second, before he gasped. “Oh my god, oh my g-- okay, okay,” He held up a hand, talking quieter to try and calm down the startled Celric. “How about I just show you, instead of explaining it?” The alien barely got the chance to nod their head before Lance was spinning around, nearly hitting them with the carved board under his arm as he ran up towards Keith.

Keith looked up from his drink (he didn’t even know what it was, all he knew was that it tasted sweet and fruity) when Lance skidded to a halt in front of him, not seeming to care that the sand he had been walking barefoot on had gave way to coarse grass and rocks a few steps back. Keith raised a single eyebrow at him as he tore off his sunglasses, urgently looking all around.

Finally, he looked at Keith, not commenting on the line of Celrics all sitting beside him in their own, slightly smaller beach chairs. “Yo dude, where’s Allura or Shiro?” He asked, holding his sunglasses in his hand. “Or maybe even Coran.”

“How should I know?” Keith huffed, shrugging. “Not here, obviously.” Lance scoffed, jutting his hip out to the side. “Thank you for pointing that out,” He hummed, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Well, I guess they’re not going to see me catching some sick waves out there.”

“I’ll make sure to fill them in on you wiping out.”

“ooh, I see what’s going on here,” Lance said playfully. “You think I’m going to be a terrible surfer, I get it. If I do crash, which I _won’t_ , then you better be my knight in shining armour and save me, right?”

Keith gulped, looking over hesitantly at the water, a feeling of nausea and dread settling in the pit of his stomach as he thought about the waves crashing and tumbling out in the bay. He looked back at Lance, thankful that he hadn’t noticed him looking out towards the water like that. “If I were you, I wouldn’t count on me saving you.”

Lance laughed, taking a few steps toward Keith. “Well that’s good, considering I won’t need you to save me while I’m cruising on the waves like a champ," he finished with a snicker, making hand motions that looked kind of like a wave. Before Keith could bite out something witty that would knock Lance’s big ego down a few notches, Lance chucked his glasses at him carelessly.

Struggling to catch them with just one hand, nearly dropping his half empty cup, he looked back up at him with a glare-- only for it to be quickly replaced by a blush when he saw nothing but blue eyes, framed by dark skin painted with freckles.

Lance smirked at Keith’s flustered face, grinning and leaning forward just a bit more. “So,” He practically purred, “make sure you keep your eyes on me the whole time, and prepare to be amazed.”

Keith gulped, struggling to find his voice. “I-I highly doubt. . . That I will,” He stammered, looking down and forcing himself to focus on his drink instead, inspecting the wooden cup.

Lance pulled away quickly, spinning around without another word. Keith glanced up, watching him run back down to the beach, laughing boisterously the whole way. “Watch this, my palm tree pal!” Lance shouted at the Celric as he passed them, making them yelp and jump.

Keith snorted, shaking his head back and forth as he watched Lance wade through the water clumsily, splashing and stirring the water that seemed to sparkle, nearly tripping multiple times before he finally got deep enough, until the water was just up to his stomach.

Putting his board in the water, Lance managed to slide onto it with not problem, on his stomach as he paddled out farther to see like he had done it thousands of times before. Keith realized, judging by the practised way he dipped his hands into the water, propelling himself forward as if he was actually using oars, that he probably had back on earth.

Keith raised his eyebrows, leaning forward in his chair curiously, just like all the other Celric’s sitting around him lazily. He took a sip of his drink, glancing over to Hunk and Pidge, who seemed to preoccupied with the sand to watch Lance.

“Lance. . .” Keith said, just loud enough to catch Hunk’s attention. “He grew up on a beach, didn’t he?” Hunk was already nodding his head, not bothering to look over at Keith. “Oh yeah, definitely did. Was hugely into surfing, diving, all that stuff,” Hunk said, busy fashioning the sand covering Pidge’s legs into a mermaid tail. “Honestly, I’m surprised it took him this long to finally get out there, considering how long it’s been since he’s surfed.”

Keith absentmindedly nodded his head, already back to looking at Lance. It had been only seconds since Keith had last looked out towards the ocean, but Lance had already managed to get so far out, he was just a speck on the water. He wasn’t on his stomach any more, that much could be seen, now sitting with his legs hanging off both side of the board, simply waiting.

The thought of how far out he was, all that water beneath him, gave Keith goose bumps, shivers running up his spine. He couldn’t image being out so deep, with nothing but a wooden surfboard keeping him from falling, sinking, drowning under all that suffocating water. How could Lance be so sure of his own skills when it could very well be the only thing between him and death?

Keith gulped, trying his best to push the thoughts of Lance going under and never breaching the surface again far out of his mind, instead focusing on Lance. Brushing his hair behind his ear as the wind blew past, Keith didn’t dare look away from Lance, like if his gaze wavered then Lance would be gone.

The dread feeling like a hole in his chest only built up, growing stronger when Keith caught sight of the nearest, biggest wave heading straight for the bay they were in-- straight for Lance.

Lance’s reaction was much different than Keith’s, pumping his fist into the air and hollering so loud it echoed back to everyone, instead of clenching his fists, sucking in a shaking breath like Keith did back on the shore.  

The Celrics dotting the beach, some in their seats, others walking back and forth from the beach to their small village back in the woods, all seemed to become much more interested when Lance started getting to his feet. The wave of shimmering turquoise water was like a wall in front of him, impenetrable and looming, moving towards Lance. The white cape of the wave started to bend, a spike of fear making Keith bend forward even more, his eyes wide and his face ashen.

There was gasps all around Keith when Lance disappeared from view, the wave crashing over him like ocean had swallowed him. Keith didn’t notice that he had cried out, practically out of his seat as he searched, looking everywhere for a sign of Lance, anything to show that he was still there, that the vast expanse of water beneath him hadn’t taken him--

And then, just as suddenly as he had disappeared, Lance was back in sight.

Lance was surfing, standing on the board with ease as it glided across water, riding through the rolling wave like it was nothing. The Celrics around Keith whooped and hollered, clicking cries filling the air as Keith let out a sigh of relieve, that sense of fear dying down to nearly nothing.

Lance’s cocky grin could be seen all the way from the shore, and Keith just knew that he had heard the Celrics, could see them all running down towards the edge of the water. He started to twist and turn more daringly, his board cutting a thin line through the water as he reached out.

“Wooo!” Keith jumped at the sound of something a little more human, looking over to See hunk looking out towards Lance with a smile on his face, his hands cupped around his mouth. “Go Lance!”

“Yeah!” Pidge screamed out, their neck awkwardly bent against the sand as they watched him. With a burst of sand, Pidge threw their hands up into the air, waving erratically. “Show that wave who’s boss!” They screamed. “Leave that water shook!” When Lance started waving back, Pidge was laughing too hard to notice Hunk protesting about his ruined ‘sandy masterpiece.’

The whole beach was alive with noise, the sound of Lance yelling back at them being carried by the wind as it picked up. Keith just sat there, completely taken back. He couldn’t tell if he was surprised, awestruck, still a little worried, (having someone you care about literally on top of the one thing you fear will do that) or maybe all three.

Keith let out a relieved sigh, falling back in his chair as he let his shoulders drop, his tense muscles relax. Risking a glance to look down at the sunglasses still in his hand, he let out a laugh. Putting them on, he saw Lance out on the water still, showing off by posing, flexing his muscles in between gliding swerves as he rode the wave. “What a show off,” Keith snorted, taking another a sip of his drink.

Lance couldn’t ride the water forever, of course, eventually getting too close to the shore for the push of the wave any longer. He clumsily fell off of the board, Keith feeling relieved that he was able to touch, instantly bouncing back up to grab the surfboard before it got away.

As soon as he made his way to the shoreline, the board under his arm as he shook the water out of his hair like he was a dog, the Celrics cheered, excitedly tripping over themselves running down the sand to see Lance. Hunk rolled his eyes while Pidge crinkled their nose, staying perfectly still after being scolded by Hunk.

Keith walked down the beach with them, his arms crossed at the faint gusts of chilling wind, a smirk on his face. Lance seemed to be soaking up the attention, basking in the thrilled chitters and chirps of the small aliens circling. But he still looked up at Keith, dragging his attention away from all of them to smirk at him.

“So, are you amazed or what?” Lance hummed, stepping past the Celrics to stand right in front of Keith, nearly taking out a few of the aliens with the board yet again. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes sparkling. “Don’t lie, you definitely are amazed by that. And you thought I couldn’t surf!”

“I never said you couldn’t surf,” Keith scoffed, “I just said I wouldn’t save you.” Lance rolled his eyes, not seeming to notice how Keith was looking at him, at the water still clinging to his skin and his cocky smirk. “Well, you definitely thought it, buddy. And this awesome surfer proved you wrong,” With a shining grin, Lance pointed to himself.

“Don’t flatter yourself, it wasn’t that great,” Keith snorted, before realizing what he might have just implied, or what Lance had heard. He bit into his bottom lip, but he didn't back down or look away when he noticed Lance’s eyes widen. Lance scowled, a spark in his eyes as he put one hand on his hip.

“Oh, _excuse_ me Mr. Perfect, but I doubt you could surf as good as I can,” Lance said obnoxiously, smoothing his wet hair back. “If you even managed to get on your feet out there, well I’d be surprised.”

Keith bristled, scowling at Lance. It took next to nothing for Lance to rile him up, even when his heart started beating twice as fast in his chest at just the thought of being out in deep water. “Shut your mouth, McClain,” Keith bit out. “You’re only saying all that because you have a whole brigade of aliens boosting your ego.” He gestured out towards the Celrics, most of them now trying to balance on their boards out in the water, falling over themselves.

“Oh yeah, pretty boy?” Lance scoffed, trying to use his height to tower over him. He didn’t do a double take at the nickname, but Keith did, his eyes wide and a heat crawling up his neck. “If you’re so certain that your dusty-desert ass can even get out on the waves, then maybe we should--”

“Ex-excuse me?”

Lance blinked, backing down a bit to see who was tugging at his shorts. A young Celric, it’s head barely tall enough to reach past Lance’s hips, was looking up at him shyly, one four-finger hand curled against their chest. “Uh-uhm, can you show me how you did that again?” they asked, their voice sweet.

Lance seemed to forget Keith for just that split second, smiling down at them affectionately. He rested a hand on their purple head. “No problem little buddy!” Lance laughed. “How about I do you one better and show you how to balance on a board?”

They lit up at that, yellow eyes wide and a smile on their face. “Y-yeah! Yeah!” They were practically bouncing on the spot, more than excited. Lance laughed, readjusting the board under his arm as he took a step back. “So, do you have a board? You should go grab one, and then meet me back here.” They nodded furiously, scampering up the beach. Keith watched them leave, tumbling over themself clumsily.

When they came back, a crudely carved board in their hands, Lance walked with them into the water before hesitating. “Wait one minute,” He whispered down to them, loud enough for Keith to hear. “I got to do something quickly.”

He turned to look over his shoulder, looking Keith so directly in the eyes that he froze on the spot, eyes wide. “Oh, and Keith?” Lance hummed, that kind of spark in his eyes that made Keith’s heart skip a beat. “My sunglasses look really cute on you. I like it.”

Before Keith could say anything, (not that he even _could_ ) Lance winked, a light blush barely noticeable on his face as he turned around, heading into the water.

Keith stood there, flustered and moonstruck as he just watched him wade deeper and deeper into the water, noticing the sound of chuckling a little too late.

“Good job there, ‘ _pretty boy’_ ,” Pidge snickered. “You’re not the smooth talker I thought you’d be.” Keith scoffed, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked down at Pidge, eyeing the mound of sand they were buried under. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Keith said, the embarrassed look on his face obviously showing that he knew exactly what they were talking about. “And don’t call me that.”

“Ooh, yeah, I’m sorry,” Pidge purred, “I understand. You’ much rather have Lance calling you that anyways.” Pidge burst out into laughter as soon as Keith started sputtering and scoffing, his face beat red as he tried his best to deny it.

“Oh, Pidge, cut the guy at least a little slack,” Hunk interjected, sitting back in the sand right beside Pidge’s sand tail, dusting himself off. “I mean, he’s crushing on Lance, Lance. That’s rough enough as it is.”

“H-Hunk, but I’m not. . .” Keith bit into his bottom lip so hard he thought it was going to bleed. “I. . . Don’t like Lance like that. I mean, I just. . .” Keith risked a glance to Lance, who was up to his waste in the water, trying to show the Celrics how to paddle out deeper on their stomachs. He was explaining with complex hand motions, paddling like he eas trying to swim through the air. His face lit up, a smile breaking across his face when all the aliens mimicked him. 

He let out a dejected sigh, collapsing down into a crouch with his fingers entangled in his hair, staring down at the sand. “. . . Is it really that obvious?” He mumbled out, sounding both frustrated with himself and embarrassed.

“Oh yeah, it sure is,” Hunk nodded furiously, going back to sculpting the sand around Pidge. “Well, to everyone else except the one you’re pining over, it’s pretty well known. Then again, you’re basically an open book --no offence-- and Lance has never been much of a reader. Which is kinda obvious, since he didn’t seem to catch on to your water fear thing, but--”

“Okay, hold up there,” Pidge interrupted, lifting their head to look at Hunk with a frown. “You’ve got to slow down, buddy. You were kind of rambling again. And, uh, what do you mean by ‘water fear thing’?” At that, they glanced over to Keith for an answer, who was sitting in the sand, leaning back on his arms.

Keith frowned, nodding hesitantly. He really hated the idea of being an open book, but it seemed to at least be partially true since Hunk had managed to catch on pretty fast. “Yeah, Hunk’s right,” He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “But I’m just afraid of deep water. . . For the most part.”

There was a kind of look on his face that made Keith think that, had they’re hands been free, Pidge would be tapping their chin, humming in thought. “So, aquaphobia? Or no, maybe bathophobia? Either way, sounds pretty rough buddy. This planet must be hell for you.” Pidge raised one eyebrow, looking at Keith curiously.

Hunk seemed to get the same feeling, that Pidge was going to start asking some rapid fire questions about Keith’s fear, and started talking to him before they had the chance. “So, it’s really a good thing that Lance got distracted before he dragged you out there with him,” Hunk chuckled. “I guess flirting became more important than your guys’ rivalry.’

Keith blushed again, looking away with a huff. “Yeah, whatever. He’ll probably be distracted long enough that I can go back to the Castle before he decides I need some surfing lessons.”

Pidge laughed, that kind of cheeky giggle that made Keith and Hunk look over at them with wide eyes. Pidge raised a single eyebrow at Keith, grinning ear to ear. “Oh, but you won’t be going back to the Castle any time soon, now will you? Not when Lance is out there, soaking wet, wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks.”

“P-Pidge!” Hunk squeaked, slapping a hand over their mouth a little too harshly. He seemed to have suddenly remembered that they were the youngest of the group, scowling at them like he was scolding a kid. Pidge scowled right back.

Keith coughed, capturing both their attention. He was as red as they had ever seen him, looking like he was going to combust as he pulled on the collar of his dark gray t-shirt. He just barely managed to choke out a few words through his embarrassment. “They’re right th-though. . . I’m not going anywhere.” He glanced out towards Lance, who was now waiting out there with some Celrics that had managed to make it that far. Keith just barely pushed down rising anxiety to wiggle his eyebrows.

“Keith!” Hunk protested, Pidge’s laughter muffled by his hand.

They sat there for a while, talking about nothing. Lance barely seemed to make it to solid land at all while they sat there in the sand. He only came in every once in awhile, said something stupid to Hunk, winked or wiggled his eyebrows at Keith, (the reaction was the same regardless; blush and completely shut down) only to be drawn back out into the water, board under his arm and the biggest smile any of them had ever seen on his face.

“At least he’s enjoying himself,” Pidge had commented with a yawn, just seconds after Lance's first wipeout when he had tried to stand on the very front of his board and tumbled into the water face first. Keith had nearly had a panic attack at that, just barely managing to hide his fear under his skin until he had seen Lance’s smiling face break the surface.

Pidge had been right when they had said that Keith wouldn’t be leaving any time soon, but Keith couldn't tell if it was because of what they had said or because of the constant, pressing feeling of anxiety weighing down on his chest. Even when Hunk eventually left to go check on the others, Keith sat in one of the beach chairs, that kind of paranoia at the back of his mind that the water would swallow Lance if he looked away for too long.

It was an irrational thought, Keith knew that. Lance was obviously an amazing swimmer, knew his way around a surfboard like no one Keith had ever known, and seemed a little more at home in the water than on the sand. There was practically no way that Lance would get hurt.

But that didn’t stop Keith’s heart from clenching in his chest at the second time he fell off his board, or the third, or fourth. As Lance got cockier and cockier, doing more risky things to impress the little audience he still had left, Keith still felt that spike of fear in his chest every time he went down.

Keith couldn’t tell if the days on the planet were shorter, or if he had just been so caught up in watching Lance trying to flip his surfboard like a skateboard, (and fail) but eventually the nearest star started to set over the horizon. The glow of the sun was more purple and green than yellow, bouncing off the waves. The mounds of sand that Pidge had fallen asleep under seemed to catch the light, shimmering like glitter.

Lance seemed to have finally gotten tired, even though Keith doubted that, finally drifting back to land on his board, lazily paddling. Keith rolled his eyes at him, smiling as he let out a sigh, just giving himself the chance to soak up the sunlight for a moment. With Lance back on land again, that digging, gnawing feeling in his chest gone, Keith rested his head back and looked at the setting sun.

There was the sound of splashing water and laughter that sounded familiarly like Lance to Keith’s ears. “Hey, Keith!” Lance called out, the water still up to his knees and the surfboard under his arm. Keith looked down at him with an eyeroll hidden behind his glasses, only to see Lance staring up at him with his eyebrows raised, that kind of challenging smirk on his face.

“What do you want, Lance?” Keith said, sounding exasperated. Lance didn’t react, just put his free hand on his hip and cocked his head to the side with a hum.

“I’ll say Keith,” He started, “you’ve been sitting out here all day, and not once have I seen you get into the water. What, are you afraid to get your mullet wet or something?”

“How would you know if I went in or not? It’s not like you’ve been watching me this whole time.” There was a paused of slightly awkward silence before Keith raised his eyebrows. “Or have you been?”

“”Uuh, that’s not important,” Lance said quickly, trying to laugh off his blush. “Now stop trying to change the subject.” He walked up onto the shore a bit closer to Keith, sticking his board in the sand dangerously close to Pidge’s sleeping body. He pointed an accusing finger straight at Keith, eyes narrowed. “You haven’t even put your feet in! Why are you even at the beach if you’re not going to, y’know, enjoy it to its fullest?”

Keith crossed his arms over his chest, hoping that Lance understood that he was glaring daggers at him. “I don’t have to go into the water to enjoy the beach, Lance,” Keith spat out, hoping that it was clear in his voice just how much he wanted to drop the whole conversation.

Lance didn’t seem to clue in, judging by the newfound cocky smirk on his face, leaning forward like he had finally bested Keith. “Oh, yeah you do, kitty cat. In fact, I couldn’t even imagine not surfing. It’s, like, a must! Especially when you’re on a planet covered in the kind of waves a surfer dreams about.” Lance sighed.

“W-well I wouldn’t know,” Keith spat out, bitterly hunching his shoulders and looking away with a frown, trying to hide his reaction to Lance’s latest pet name. “because I’m not a surfer.”

Lance didn’t seem to take that simple sentence the way Keith expected, his whole face seeming to light up, his smile like the sun. All Keith could do was stare at him as he laughed, a hand hovering over his mouth. “Holy shit, oh my quiznak,” he said under his breath, looking away like he was going to whisper a secret to something. “Oh my god, I get it now.”

“What?” Keith huffed, his nails digging crescents into his arm. “What is it?”

Lance looked back at him, grinning from ear to ear, looking proud with himself. “I get what your problem is,” Lance said. “You’re jealous because I’m better than you at something, because there’s no way in hell you’re as awesome at surfing as this guy right here.”

Keith deadpanned, looking at Lance like he had said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. “. . . _What_?” Keith scoffed. “That’s what you got out of all that? Jeez, Pidge and Hunk were right, you really aren’t a reader.” He said the last part under his breath, low enough that Lance didn’t hear it over his own ego.

Lance stuck his hip out to the side, his smile flashing. Keith groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “Oh, whatever you say pal,” Lance hummed, ”stay in denial all you want, but I know the truth. You don’t want to surf because you know I’ll just show you up.”

“Oh my _god_ Lance, please stop talking,” Keith sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re voice is giving me a headache.”

“Or, maybe it’s the lack of surfing giving you a headache--”

“Fuckin-- what will make you shut up?”

“Come surf with me,” Lance suddenly said, his voice sounding much softer, so completely different from when he was boasting and bragging, that it made Keith look straight at him with his eyebrows raised. Lance’s eyes widened a bit as he hide his blush behind a cough, leaning back a little. “ I mean,” He continued, “we need to see wh-who’s the better surfer. A good ol’ competition between rivals.”

“that’s hardly fair,” Keith crossed his arms over his chest, straightening up at the challenging tone. “Considering that you’ve actually surfed before.”

“Yeha, which is why it’ll be so much fun,” Lance snickered under his breath, obviously thinking that Keith didn’t hear every word that he had said as he continued. “Oh, _c’mon_ Keith! That’s what a quitter would say, and I never took you as someone to back down from a challenge, quitter.”

“Wha-- it’s not fair at all! You just want to boost your self esteem by seeing me fall into the water!”

“Wow, now that’s some real quitter talk right there, quitter.”

“Could you stop calling me that?”

“whatever you say. . . Quitter.”

“Okay,” Keith growled out, standing up with his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He breathed in deeply, slowly, trying to calm his beating heart as he stared back at Lance’s proud gaze. “If I go out there on a stupid surfboard, will you finally shut up and leave me alone?” His words left a bitter taste on his tongue, the thought of actually going out there, into deep water, making him tense up.

Lance hummed, tapping his chin like he was actually considering it. “Well. . . I don’t know about that last part there. I kinda enjoy seeing you get all flustered and annoyed--”

“ _L-Lance_.”

“--but hell yeah I will.” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at Keith before turning away to shout something up towards the forest. “Hey, guys!” Keith rolled his eyes, practically hearing the last few Clerics around the beach jump and squeal at his booming voice. “Do we got any other big surfboards for this toughy over here?” He gestured towards Keith, who stood there with his head in his hands.

“Uh-uhm, I think we don’t, sir!” A shy Celric answered, their voice barely even raised to a yell. “That one you have is the only one like it!”

Lance blinked at this new information, glancing between the big board and Keith like he was judging the height differences. Although the steadily growing blush suggested he wasn’t.

“Oh, well would you look at that,” Keith sighed, going back towards his beach chair. He took the sunglasses off as he sat down, resting them on the armrest. “Guess you’re weird obsession with this 'rivalry' will have to wait.”

Uh-uh, nope, not so fast hun,” Lance clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, pulling Keith back up on his feet. He was shaking his head back and forth, his lips a thin line. “W-we'll just, uh, have to. . . Think of something else. Yeah. We’ll. . . Okay, come on.”

Lance, with the board under one arm and the other around Keith’s shoulders, Keith’s breath caught in his throat as he froze up, unable to do anything but let Lance guide him to the water.

“We’ll just. . . We’ll just have to share,” Lance said somewhat hesitantly, his arm sliding off of Keith’s shoulders to pat the board as he walked ahead of him. “Which is a-okay! It’s not the first time I’ve had a second passenger while I skim the waves. But, yeah sure they may have been kids, and the board may have been bigger. . . But whatever.”

Keith’s mind drifted elsewhere, Lance’s mumbling flowing in one ear and out the other as soon as Lance took a step into the water. He didn’t think twice about wading into the shallow water, but Keith sure did, stopping as soon as he felt the water touch his toes. Keith succked in a breath, his heart dropping to his feet. _What the hell am I doing?_ Keith thought to himself angrily, glaring at nothing as he tore a hand through his hair. _What the hell am I doing? Why’d I agree to this? Because Lance challenged me? Because Lance thinks that I can’t do something that he can?_

“Are you coming in or what, mullet man?” Lance’s snide voice pulled Keith out of his thoughts, giving him just a second to push the anxiety, the fear down into his stomach, to steal his expression over into a scowl. “I was just waiting for you to shut up.”

Lance’s laugh ringed in his ears, leaving Keith torn between being annoyed and feeling flustered. Lance raised a single eyebrow at him, something suggestive in his eyes. “Oh really now? Because, hey, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re lookin’ a little scared,” he grinned at seeing Keith tense up, knowing his pride wouldn’t let him back down. “You’re not saying that, _oh_ , you’re actually scared of a little water?” He gasped, a hand hovering over his mouth as he shook his head back and forth. “Oh dearie me! It _can’t_ be true! Our very dear, angry red hero is afraid of some waves--”

“It’s not,” Keith’s words were a growl in the back of his throat as he stepped into the water. He walked until he was right beside Lance, the water just up to his hips. His heart was beating twice as fast, sounding like a hammer pounding against his ribs. He hoped that Lance didn’t hear it as he stared up at him, not backing down from the challenge. “So are we doing this or what?” Keith said, “or are you just going to keep staring at me?”

Lance blinked, obviously taken back as he stumbled over his words, a bright red blush on his face. “I-I. . Uh--uh, okay, let’s. . . yeah.” With a gulp, Lance laid the board down so that it floated just on the surface of the water right beside him, bobbing slightly with the small waves. He slid one leg over it, sitting on the center of the board like he had done it a million times. He probably has, Keith realized.

“Okay, uhm,” Lance bit into his bottom lip, holding onto Keith as he looked down at the surfboard thoughtfully. “Maybe you should’ve gotten on first, but okay whatever. Come ‘ere.”

It took a lot of struggling, a lot of nearly falling in the water until Keith had finally gotten on, his legs hanging off both sides. Keith wasn’t sure if the board just looked smaller when Lance was holding it, but there was a surprising amount of space between the two of them.

Keith let out a shaky breath, his knuckles white as he gripped the sides of the surfboard. The feeling of bobbing on the water, his feet no longer touching the safe, sturdy ground made him feel a little sick.

“ _Oookay_ , that was. . . An experience,” Lance sighed, seemingly relieved that Keith had figured out that leaning too far to either side was a very, very bad idea. With a huff, he suddenly sat up straight, puffing out his chest, not seeming to care that the board jolted a bit under the sudden movement. Keith’s eyes were wide, his grip only tightening as Lance spoke. “Now, it’s time to get the hell out there and surf like there’s no tomorrow. C’mon, paddle with me back there.”

Before Keith could even start paddling with his hands, (which he wouldn’t have; there was no way in hell Keith was loosening his grip) Lance leaned forward, the muscles in his back rippling as he pushing through the water with his hands. Lance didn’t seem to notice the lack of effort from the person behind him or he was too excited to care.

Under other circumstances, Keith would have been distracted by what was going on in front of him; Lance’s muscles flexing and moving with every movement, the huffs and grunts escaping his mouth with the effort, the beads of water still clinging to his skin. But, Keith couldn’t think about anything else but the water underneath them.  
  
Keith was too busy staring down, his anxiety building up as he started to lose sight of the ground, a feeling of hopeless helplessness starting to take over as he realized they were moving further and further out. The water was growing deeper and deeper underneath them, the safety of land far away.

 _I've fucked up_ , Keith thought to himself, thoughts of suffocation and drowning filling his mind. The image of something monstrous and unknown reaching out from the deep, grabbing his leg and dragging him under finding it’s place in his brain. Oh quiznak, Keith could have sworn breathing was getting harder. _I’ve_ really _fucked up._

“Oh, fuckity,” Keith hadn’t noticed when Lance had stopped moving, too busy focusing on his fears. Lance’s hands were on his hips, pouting as he looked around at the near flat water. “This fuckin’ sucks. The wind has really died down out here, and the water is _waaaay_ too calm. We may be waiting out here for a bit, buddy ol pal.”

“Or,” Keith gulped, hoping he didn’t sound too out of breath, “we could always turn back and call it a day.” Beads of nervous sweat were starting to cling to Keith’s brow as his eyes darted around, his teeth digging so deep into his bottom lip he thought he could taste blood.

Lance only let out a laugh, shaking his head back and forth “Nope, Nada, nien. I’m afraid that’s not on the agenda for today, kitty cat. We’re sitting out here now, and we’re not going back until you get a good taste of the amazing thing that surfing is.”

“Ugh, g-great,” Keith choked out, biting down on his tongue. There was an air of silence, Lance stuck doing nothing but staring contently out at the glowing sunset, completely unaware of the aching fingers gripping the board painstakingly tight behind him.

Keith tried his best to cover up his emotions, tried to repress the feelings of empty hopelessness, the fear that if he were to fall in he’d be lost under the surface and be left to drown. He tried to ignore the anxiety, the rising feeling of panic bubbling up in his throat the longer they stayed out there.

“Hmm, this is nice,” Lance hummed, sounding ten times more content than Keith felt. “Like, that sunset is. . . Spectacular.” He sighed, “I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it. I mean, our nice ol’ earth sunset didn’t look quite that purple, not that I . . . Really remember that well, but yeah.”

“Yeah, sure it is,” Keith said quietly and bitterly under his breath. Lance frowned, feeling a bit confused when he heard the slight waver in his voice. Lance let out a hum, glancing over his shoulder a bit to make sure there was enough room, before yanking one leg over onto the board in front of him.

Keith gasped as the whole surfboard rocked back and forth as Lance moved, trying to twist around to face him. It felt like Keith’s heart had been pushed towards his spine, his stomach twisting and turning. “ _L-Lance_!” He called out, biting down on his tongue as soon as he heard himself whimper, cursing how weak he felt.

“Aww, yep, just give me a sec. . .” Lance said, not paying attention to how he leaned side to side, only stopping when he was turned fully around, now face Keith. “ _Aha_! There we go. Easy-peasy.” He chuckled, not seeing how Keith was trying to correct his hyperventilating, one hand over his eyes as he was hunched forward, his shoulders quaking.

Lance rubbed his hands together, a cheeky grin back on his face. “Well, as nice as that view is,” He said, jabbing a thumb back towards the sun over his shoulder, “I gotta say I was gettin’ a bit sick of staring at it. No offense to the sun or anything, but I gotta say, I enjoy this view much, much more.”

He smiled slyly, looking down at Keith to see his reaction, expecting the usual red faced fluster, the proud attempt hide it by looking away and glaring at nothing. But as soon as he noticed it, the one hand gripping the board like his life depended on it, the hunched, shaking shoulders, his smile dropped.

“. . . Keith?” Lance said, afraid what response he would get if he reached out towards him. He leaned down, trying to get a look at his face. “Are you. . . Crying?”

Keith’s already shaky breath hitched in his throat, one watery, red eye looking at Lance from between the curtain of black hair, only to narrow as he ducked his head down even more. He choked on a sniffle, a quivering hand wiping at his face. “N-no, I’m. . . It’s not- I just. . . It’s n-nothing.” He reluctantly pulled his hand away from the board to wrap his arms around his body, looking away from Lance.

“Hey, hey,” Lance said quietly, his voice below a whisper. “C’mon, Keith, what’s the matter? You can tell me” His voice was calm but concerned, soft and gentle like he was talking to a startled animal, not his ‘rival’. He lenaed forward just the slightest bit, only to frown when Keith leaned away.

“I-it’s nothing, I’m. . . I’m fi- _fine_ ,” Keith mumbled out stubbornly, his voice sounding too broken to sound like he had meant it. It broke Lance’s heart, seeing his shaking body, his sniffles as he tried to hide the tears, his breathing sounding choppy and winded and. . . Scared.

“Keith, I. . .” Lance gulped, trying to inch forward, toward Keith. He stopped the second Keith gasped, his shoulders tensing up when Lance made the surfboard sway in the water. When Lance heard the slightest whimper, his eyes widened.

“It’s. . . You’re afraid of water, aren’t you?” Lance asked, knowing that his question would just go unanswered. He didn’t need a reply anyway; the way Keith kept glancing back and forth, looking at the subtle waves around them like something was going to drag him under, that was an answer in itself.

Lance looked down, a feeling of guilt overcoming him. “And I forced you to come out here,” He whispered under his breath. Lance closed his eyes for a moment, before starting to inch towards Keith even more.

“ _Lance_!” Keith sobbed out, hyperventilating as the surfboard tipped back and forth, water soaking his swimming trunks. “what ar-are y-you _doing_? Stay ov-over--Stop moving!” His heart was clogged in his throat as it felt like he was going in, seconds away from falling off and into the water. He could already feel himself suffocating, drowning at the bottom of the ocean, water gushing down his throat and into his lungs, drawing out his last breath--

But then there were hands gripping his wrists, pulling his hands away from the board. Keith looked up with wide, tearful eyes, seeing concerned blue eyes framed by brown, freckle-kissed skin. Lance was pulling Keith closer to him, the surfboard’s center of gravity still slightly off balance. “Wh-what are you--”

“Shh. . .” Lance shushed him, letting go of one wrist to grip his chin, softly tipping his head up to look at him. “You’re okay, Keith,” his voice was calming, soothing as he held Keith's cheek, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. “Just--just ignore the water, alright? Ignore all that and just focus on me.”

Keith didn’t say anything, just drawed in a sharp breath. His face was growing red for more than one reason now, but he could only focus on the panic running through his veins, the fight or flight instincts drowned out by how trapped he felt. Keith whined in the back of his throat, glancing away to look to the water around them with a shudder. “B-but. . . I said I-I’m fi--”

“Shut it,” Lance said sternly, before letting out a sigh. “You’re not fine, Keith. So just. . . Push your pride to the side and drop it.” Keith’s heart skipped a beat, his breath hitching when Lance suddenly wrapped his arms around him. Keith froze up, unsure of what to do or what to say, his voice lost.

“Just focus on me,” Lance repeated, “and ignore everything else. Focus on only me and breathing normally, and I’ll get us back to the shore. Can you do that, kitty cat?” Lance let out a relieved breath when he felt Keith shyly nod into his shoulder, his arms slinking around his waist hesitantly.

“You have nothing to worry about,” He breathed out, trying his best to row them towards the shore with Keith tucked against his chest. “You’re safe here with me, okay? The water. . . It’s not a problem. I've got you.”

Keith just focused on his voice, on the feeling of his muscles flexing and retracting as he moved, on anything but the subtle sound of water splashing around them. Lance was his focal point, his hushed tone the only thing he heard as Lance kept whispering soothing nothings to him. Eventually, Keith’s anxiety started to die down, his tense, shaking muscles relaxing into a quiet quiver. His fear was still there, still present, but something else was gnawing at the back of his mind.

Keith’s arms tightened suddenly, Lance gulping and starting to speak up even more through puffs of breath. But he didn’t know what was going on inside of Keith’s head, the frustration and anger aimed at himself.

I’m so weak, Keith thought, a bitter taste on his tongue. God, I’m so weak. Clinging to Lance because, what, I couldn’t push aside my fear for a few minutes? Because I couldn’t just suck it the fuck up and get over it? Because of a. . . A little water?

Getting back to land was much harder than swimming out to see Lance realized, especially with the limited movement that came with having someone shaking and shivering pressed up against you. But when they finally made it to the beach, Lance’s feet digging into the sand under the water, he let out a relieved (but very exhausted) sigh.

Lance didn’t let himself have a second to catch his breath, resting a hand on Keith’s arm, the other rubbing circles into his back. He tilted his head to the side, bumping against the side of Keith’s head. “Hey, Keith,” he said quietly, scoping out the beach for anyone. But all Lance noticed was a crater in the sand that was distinctly Pidge-sized. “We’re on land again, pretty boy. Well, sort of.”

The closest thing that Lance got to a response was a deep, slightly shaky inhale, like Keith was trying to calm down but didn’t want to pull away from him. Lance smirked at that thought, wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders. “Do you. . . Wanna get off of this stupid board?” Lance asked, smiling shyly when he felt Keith nod. “Okay. . . Uhm. . . Let’s figure this out.”

Keith tried to bite down on a whine when he felt Lance, felt his support pull away. “Hey hey, it’s okay, kitty cat,” Lance said in response, trying his best to keep the surfboard steady as he got off of it. “You can touch the ground now, remember? You’re perfectly fine.”

“Thanks f-for the reminder, jerk,” Keith bit out instinctively to hide his shame, his embarrassment from the whole ordeal. Lance didn’t bite back, didn’t say anything but just hold his hands up in a mock surrender as Keith got to his feet on his own. Lance picked the board up out of the water, not seeming to care about the water splashing up onto his as he tucked it under his arm.

Keith looked away, avoiding all eye contact as they made their way up towards the trees. He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling some sort of schilling, shivering cold still echoing in his body, like icy water was running through his veins, filling up his heart. His fingers dug into his skin as he tried to fight back the shaking with a bit of pain.

Lance hesitated at the edge where the sand met the forest, stopping on the grass that felt like bits of papery plastic under his feet. Lance look up into the trees for a moment, the everlasting feeling of guilt at the thought of Keith’s panic attack, at the realization that Lance was the one at fault.

He gulped, trying to ignore the lump in his throat as he leaned the board against the nearest tree, hearing Keith follow behind him. Lance looked over his shoulder at him, seeing his downcast expression, seeing how he couldn’t seem to look straight ahead, how his eyebrows knit together.

Keith looked up at Lance at the sound of a loud sigh, seeing him sitting in the grass, his back against the tree. He glanced up at Keith, something unreadable in his small smile, clouding his eyes as he patted the ground beside him, a silent invitation. Keith took it, sitting so close he could feel Lance’s body heat.

There was a kind of aching silence between them, full of only the sound of papery leaves brushing against each other and the questions on both of their minds; _what do I do now? What do I say? Should I just brush this off? Should I confront. . . This?_

_I should apologize._

“Look, Lance--”

“Keith, I--”

They both spoke at once, abruptly looking at the other. Keith snapped his mouth shut right away, Lance running off with his words. “Keith, I-- I just. . . I’m so sorry, okay? That was really fucked up of me, I should have realized that--- I shouldn’t have. . . I-I mean, I just. . .” Lance stopped himself for a second, breathing in deeply before spitting out his words at a rapid fire pace. “It’s my fault you had that panic attack out on the water and I should have known and I’m just so sorry about everything and _I should have known Ishouldhaveknown--_ ”

“Should have known _what_?” Keith interrupted Lance’s nearly unintelligible mumbling, looking at him incredulously. “That I was going to freak the fuck out? That I was just going to break down out there? About my fucked up fear of _that_ crap out there?” Keith pointed out towards the sea, not even looking away from Lance. “I’m the one at fault here, Lance. Don’t you dare try and shoulder the blame when I’m the one that should have told you--”

“Uhm, slow down there hotshot,” Lance huffed out. He had that usual tone in his voice, the kind of lilt Keith always heard when he was challenging his skills. “What do you mean, you’re at fault? And what do you mean by ‘fucked up fear’? It’s not fucked up, it’s rational, okay? If I hadn’t practically been born in the water like some mermaid then I would understand one hundred percent. Also, keeping that shit to yourself does _not_ make this your fault. I should have known better, I. . . I. . . “

Lance suddenly cut himself off with a loud groan, throwing his head back so hard he hit the tree with a dull thunk. He looked up at the sky with a hollow, empty stare. “I just. . . Fuck, man. It was my fault, okay? I pressured you into going out there with me, I practically forced you into the water, all because I just. . . I don’t really know. I guess that. . . Surfing, the water, the ocean was such an important thing in my life, something steady in my life before we got tossed into outer space and I. . . I got the chance to just enjoy that again and. . . I wanted to share it with you. Like, really, _really_ fuckin’ bad.”

Lance let out a laugh, sounding somewhat bitter as he shook his head back and forth. Keith mimicked him, his face set in a frown. “That’s fine Lance,” Keith said, “I mean, sure it would’ve have been nice to talk about it first, but I get it--”

“No, no,” Lance said, “It’s not fine. I completely disregarded what you wanted, how you felt, basically baited you out into the water by jabbing at your stupid superiority complex, all because I wanted to share a piece of me with you--” Lance realized what he said a little too late, blushing viciously and trying to hide it in a cough, looking away. “I-I mean, I just wanted to share something. . . Important to me with you and I fucked up. Can we just agree I fucked up and move past this?”

“You didn’t fuck up though,” Keith said, shrugging, “I can’t really say the same for everything else you do--”

“Oh, wow. _Wow_. The cat’s got claw--”

“ _But_ ,” Keith said sternly, managing to shut Lance up for the moment at least. “You really didn’t mess things up this time. Honestly, I should be. . . Thanking you. For getting me back to the shore so quickly. You definitely did not mess up, okay? If anything, I’m the fuck up-- I-I mean, I’m--Im the one that fucked up.”

“Wait,” Lance interjected, shaking his head. Keith closed his eyes, wishing he could disappear into the rigid tree bark digging into his back. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing!” Keith said quickly. He blinked, trying to sound angry. “It was nothing, Lance. Just drop it.”

“Uhm, how about no?” Lance said stubbornly, a serious look on his face that Keith could only remember seeing when they were fighting against the Galra. Keith groaned, holding his head in his hands, looking away as Lance leaned towards him. “What did you mean by that, Keith? Come on, just tell me.”

The moment of silence was pressing, weighing down on Keith’s shoulders. He glanced at Lance from between his fingers, gritting his teeth together. “I. . .” He breathed in deeply, feeling annoyed and frustrated and _angry_ with himself. “Who in the hell is afraid of water? It’s stupid, and lame, and fucking weak. Why would anyone have a panic attack just at the thought of drowning, or feel like they were suffocating just because they were out too deep? It’s. . It’s pathetic.”

Lanc didn’t respond for a while, Keith’s mind running rampant as all the worst thoughts ran circles in his mind. _That’s it, I’ve done it. Lance realized his ‘rival’s’ weakness. Just throw some water at him! God, he’s realizing just how stupid that was, just how weird and--_

“Mirrors.”

Keith blinked at him, expecting staring with his eyes narrowed. “What.”

“So, when I was, like, three. . . Or was it five?” Lance hummed to himself, scratching his cheek. He shrugged, continuing his story. “Anyways, I walking in on my oldest sister watching a horror movie with some of her friends. It was one of those Paranormal Activity kinda one’s, with camera feed and ghosts. But, it just so happened to be at this one part where a demon thing sent straight from hell crawled out of the big mirror behind the dresser, snuck up on the poor dude fast asleep in his bed, then slit their throat in their sleep.”

Lance visibly shivered, his nose crinkled in distaste. “Ugh, I remember being unable to sleep for weeks, making sure every bathroom door was closed before I went to sleep, all that fun stuff. Still can’t sleep in the same room with a mirror.”

Keith’s expression went blank, his eyes wandering off as he looked deep in thought, seemingly contemplating Lance’s somewhat irrational fear. Mirrors really was a strange one, Keith had to admit, but he wasn’t really one to judge at that point.

“Huh, that’s pretty ironic,” Keith said. Lance raised a single eyebrow, looking skeptical. “Uuh, what d’ya mean?” Keith tapped his chin with a hum. “Well, with how often you stare at yourself, being afraid of mirrors is really interesting--”

“Ooh, excuse you Mr. Mullet, but I didn’t tell you what I was afraid of to be teased, okay?” Lance huffed out, his face red, waving his hand in the air. “So cut that out and play nice.”

Keith just let out an airy laugh, grinning at Lance until he dropped the annoyed facade and smiled back at him. There was a sudden rush of comfort, a feeling of mutual understand as they looked at each other. For a moment, all Keith could do was stare, his mind free of any underlying worries, or anxiety. All he did was look at him, Lance staring back, that slight smile on his face.

Eventually, he snapped out of it, a blinking at him. Keith breathed in deeply, looking away first before he got lost in Lance’s eyes and did something he’d regret. Instead, he focused on the sunset.

“. . . It really is nice.” Keith said quietly. He didn’t notice when Lance had wrapped an arm around his shoulders, not that he minded at all. Leaning into the touch, Keith felt relaxed for the first time since he stepped into the ocean. “The sunset, I mean,” he continued, feeding the urge to break the silence. “It’s a lot better from land.”

“Yeah, I can’t really argue with you on that,” Lance chimed in. Keith felt his hand squeeze his shoulder as if for emphasis. “But I think anything would look great from here.” Keith blushed, looking down at the sand between his toes.

_Do it, do it Keith. Say something, turn to look at him, say it already._

_Tell him how you feel._

“Lance,” Keith said, his voice airy, like his words were getting stolen by the wind as he spoke. Lance hummed as a response, turning his head to meet his gaze.

Keith almost got distracted in the way he looked just in that moment’ his hair dishevelled from the waves, freckles dotting his face like constellations, the setting sun hitting his face in just the right way, his blue eyes highlighting dark skin, and that overwhelming feeling of staring into the shallows of a saltwater ocean.

“I. . .” Keith spoke up, licking his lips. He could’ve almost sworn that he saw Lance;s eyes trace the motion. “I. . .” He repeated, trying to find the words, trying to build up the courage, trying to pretend that things could turn out how he wished they would.

But he couldn’t.

“I. . . Think we should head back,” Keith said, mentally cursing how the words felt out of place in his mouth, crunching like rocks between his teeth, “to the Castle.” Keith looked up at him, and for a split second, just a fraction of a moment, Keith thought he saw something in Lance’s eyes-- disappointment.

But then he was smiling, nodding his head as he patted his stomach. “Oooh yeah, I haven't eaten all day,” He groaned as he stood up, pulling Keith up by the hand. “Do you think Hunk made anything to eat?”

“I don’t know. . .” Keith hummed, no longer in the mood for talking as the walked through the trees, side by side towards the Castle. Lance didn’t seem to notice how Keith kept staring down at the ground. “Well, I’d hope so,” Lance said animatedly, “because earlier he was kinda digging through the forest and the Celrics’ food. I hope there’s something to eat in the kitchen that doesn’t taste like grass mashed into a paste.” Lance just kept talking, Keith nodding along with him as all he could do was watch Lance, watch him talk and smile and glance over at him between words.

All he could do was wonder if he was ever going to get another chance.

Later that night, Lance would stay awake in his room, the lights off as he stared up at the ceiling, stuck wondering if Keith had really been about to kiss him-- or if it was just his imagination.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably going to write a lil sequel to this, cuz that ending tho. 
> 
> You can find me on my Voltron blog keithkeithfallinspace.


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